Monday, July 18, 2011

dreamin minnesota.

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
-Langston Hughes


Lately I have really been struggling with missing minnesota.







I would always miss it when I leave but sort of snap out of it and get back into my routine when I'd be back here in Pennsylvania.
However, now its different. My heart aches for everything Minnesota.
Mostly my amazing family, best friend Kayla & my church.
It has gotten to the point where I have dreams about moving back & constantly am thinking about everything MN.
I don't really understand now if God is telling me that its time to move on and move home, or if these are my own personal wantings.
For Lance & I, we can't just really pack up and leave. It would take a lot of time to move back and I don't know if Lance could. No matter what, it will be extremely hard for one of us to be away from everything we always have known.


I grew up extremely close with my entire family & thinking about the day when Lance & I have children and not being able to have my mother there when I need her most, or having play dates with my siblings kids... it kills me. Kayla & I have always talked about someday getting married and then being neighbors and sipping lemonade on our porches while our kids play in the front yard... God has blessed me with an amazing friend who i can tell anything to and we share a lot of simlar dreams. It's funny cause she is now marrying one of lances friend/distant cousin thats from PA. The thing is.. they are in MN and lance & i are here. :(

I keep praying that God will guide us and give us clarity of where lance & i belong. not for our own personal wants but for HIS plan.
I also Pray that both our our families will feel a peace with wherever we end up. weather it be MN, PA or half way around the world. I want our family ( lance, myself and future children) to follow the path HE has for us and know that is where we belong..




It's just been a very hard journey so far.

Please, prayers would definitely be appreciated in this aspect of our lives.



Thank you my friends. You all mean so much to me.


-Justine.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

the beginning...

Alright. so I'm finally going to give this blog thing a try.
for those who don't really know me too well, my name is now justine kurtz [ formally bright].
i married my best friend October 30 2010. & we are living in lititz pennsylvania.
if you are wondering how i ended up here, this is where my online journaling/ blogging begins.
lets go back to the end of June 2008.
My friends Kelsey Smith, Becky Bauer and myself ( along with becks family)
were going to take a mini vacation to Wisconsin Dells. Beck, Kels and I loaded up Kelsey's jimmy and followed becks family for a fun week in the dells!
It was a much needed vacation for me especially as i was getting over a bad breakup and really needed to re-find my freedom and spend time with the girls.
We had fun hanging out all day by the pool , shopping and of course flirting with the boys we met.
Our week flew by and was time to pack up and head home. We had to get up early and with only a few hours of sleep the night before, we wernt really looking forward to the drive home. We packed up our stuff threw our hair back and hit the road.

Within only 10 minutes of getting on the highway... a big white 12 passenger van goes speeding past us. Not really thinking anything of it, the van starts to slow down and drive even with us down the road. We look over and two guys are waving at us and pointing at their window which read " Montana Road Trip 08. All the way from PA" and also a phone number. ( The guys were headed to Montana for a fishing/camping trip and decided to drive from their homes in Pennsylvania) Beck and Kels told me to call it just for fun, but feeling stupid and not knowing what to say I just sent a text. Not knowing that there was 9 guys in that van, the mystery guy and i sent a few texts and decided to switch numbers so I started texting another guy and beck started texting the guy i had originally texted. About an hour or so of texting later, the guys needed to stop for gas and asked if us girls would like to stop and meet them. We kept going.. feeling slightly bummed about not being able to meet and as we continued to text, us girls decided to call them and see if they'd like to meet us at Mall of America in Minnesota.
After convincing some of them that it would be worth it to stop, we planned on meeting the parking lot of the mall. That morning we were in such a hurry to get going, we didn't really do out hair or makeup so as we are driving to the mall, we are scrambling to get ready and share the rear view mirror to do our makeup! As we enter the parking ramp, we see the guys.. all NINE of them waiting outside their van and i suddenly got so nervous! Because the windows were tinted in the van, i had no idea who i had been texting for the past 4 hours.
As us girls walk up to the van all the guys greeted us and one walks up to me and says " Hi, I'm Lance. I was the one you were texting" I was so excited because in those 4 hours of texting I had started to like him. I have never had the experience of getting to know someone and hear their voice without seeing them first. Lance and I walked side by side around the mall for 2 hours getting to know each other better before we had to say goodbye. We all took pictures to remember each other by and the guys got in the van and us girls started back to Kelsey's jimmy. The van followed us and the guys started yelling "Give lance a goodbye peck!!" the van doors opened and the pushed lance out. ( Ok, so i normally wouldn't have done this, but something just told me that it was ok and whattheheck!!) So I walked over to him and he said " you really don't have to do this, may I just have a hug?" but I looked at him and kissed him. our first kiss was in front of 8 guys and my two friends. That was the most amazing, special kiss of my life. I know this sounds fictional and it only happens in movies, but i lost my breath when our lips met and i felt sparks!
We said our goodbyes again and I could not stop smiling the for the rest of the week. I believe that kissed sealed the deal and I knew I had to see him again.
Him and I logged over 1000 texts while he was in Montana that week and the guys decided that they would stop back in Minnesota for Lance to see me again on their way home. We all hung out and Lance and I stayed up all night talking and getting to know each other.
When it was time for them to head back to PA, I cried and cried. I knew I had met the most amazing guy and didn't want him to leave. I didn't know if I'd ever see him again or if he'd forget about me since we lived over 1000 miles apart.
We kept texting and calling each other every day, our "summer crush" didn't fizzle out. I started to fall in love with him.
I came out to PA that October and felt God telling me that this is where I'm meant to be.
Also on that visit, we became official and started dating.
By February 2009, I moved out here and lived with an widowed woman. After a year an a half of dating, lance proposed and we got married October 30 2010. So that brings me to now, married for 7 months and learning how to be a wife and live with my best friend.


This blog is my journal and my journey. Somedays will be posts of happy things and new things I learned being married and somedays will be posts with my struggles and my longing to move back to Minnesota with Lance.



Thank you for spending time to read my life! I truly appreciate it!



Much Love- Justine

Friday, January 22, 2010

New to this whole blog thing!

Hello Everyone!
I am new to this... so please be paitent!
I Hope everyone has a wonderful weeked!
I'll see ya next week :)